| Okay it's time to talk about jeff... I know I've done this before said these things maybe in not so many words maybe in many words more, but I'm tired of being quiet and this is my internet diary and if you come here it is your fault you read this so don't bitch about how I should just shut up and move the fuck on with my life like he has... if you really feel I should you should know that I have been really I have... I've even gone as far as to kiss someone else or well anything really, I'm so fucking lonely it's ridiculous, it's like I really should just be done with it and go off and realize that alone I'm an army and with someone I'm a slave to my own self... why can't I just be alone... I don't know and I guess I don't really care... with roommates and a clean bill of health, maybe I'll lead a party lifestyle like no one else ever has even dared dream of, maybe if I workatmcdonald's ha ha ha... life sucks still andwillforever... I can't even go to college and Jeff is and Jeff's new girlfriend is and I can't because I am so fucking stupid and self centered that I can't even better myself... I mean really what's to better? Why am I so fucked up cocky but so selfconcious....nothingmakessense... why should it right...? I never have... I'm so bored with my life that i drink all the time and smoke too much weed and too many cigarette's... it's ridiculous... ridiculous... I need a job and I'm trying to get one anywhere at this point... fucking Meijer's... for christ sake... and all the while i really think i'm some kind of genius, so smart that my brain has some chaotic control of my body and my stupid fucking desicions... really and totally honestly... honest for now and forever... no fucking lie... I'm a delusional psychotic, some sort of schizoid... famous or at least well known symptoms are delusions of grandeur or self centeredness... |
| My Fucking Interests Who I Used To Be Evidence | thanks for stopping - 2005-02-11 everyone is - 2004-04-22 haven't i said this before - 2003-11-04 i remember northern - 2003-09-09 i'm trying to relate to others - 2003-07-07 | Caught up... not caught up in the good way either, like caught up on school work or caught up on mortgage payments... just fucking caught up in everything... so fucking caught up in everything that I can't function... or at least well... I hope you know I am eternally sorry for how I am... for what I am... |