I'm still at Chad's and not yet in my own apartment... it should be soon however, very very soon... I'm so excited I hope it is tomorrow so I can quit worrying and lie on my bed for at least fifteen minutes... at least... and then maybe if I get a job which i will i can start to buy my own marijuana again and stop feeling like a mooch off of all my friends and start smoking them down as they have all been doing for me since sometime in mid september... ha... mid september and it is already fucking november... I have been unemployed and lying to my dad for two months or some shit holy shit... what a loser i have so turned out to be...

I can't wait to work again, however, have my own money for beer and weed and well, cd's and cable modems... life will be so fucking perfect... I used to have some female friends, but I don't really anymore, so if anyone wants to be my friend and they are female we should try to work something out, because I really am a good person, just severely misunderstood... I'd like to meet another severely misunderstood good person to talk to about all kinds of things...

I love the world and all it's made out to be... and I love me too... for a change...

a big change

Victoria Manthei