| hey okay here goes again with the here goes... trying to feel alright, trying to feel good with beer and no weed... what am I thinking right? Beer and no weed... what goes better to soothe the blues that have encompassed my head for years than beer and weed... jesus christ... if I could just not be a fucking fucking fucking fucking drug addict... I might be able to function to hold a job to be worth something to someone If I could just fucking find the joy in living without drugs... find a purpose in this life without intoxication... I feel good I feel good when I amalldrunkandstoned... I don't feel good I don't feel good I don't feel god... I meant that god it's not a misspelling I don't feel god... without beer or drugs or hallucinogens or sex or anything that infects reflects and affects my brain cells... I don't feel like me i don't feel like me I don't feel like me... I'm afraid I never will again... again... i can't tolerate my own prescence.. I hate myself and I can't spell presence... ha... ha... ha... I wish for right now to be real I wish to be real right now for i for to wish be real now right fuck this fuck this fuck this can you hear me mister pants can you hear me mister pants i need you or i'll die and i am dead without you can you hear me fuckit |
| My Fucking Interests Who I Used To Be Evidence | thanks for stopping - 2005-02-11 everyone is - 2004-04-22 haven't i said this before - 2003-11-04 i remember northern - 2003-09-09 i'm trying to relate to others - 2003-07-07 | Caught up... not caught up in the good way either, like caught up on school work or caught up on mortgage payments... just fucking caught up in everything... so fucking caught up in everything that I can't function... or at least well... I hope you know I am eternally sorry for how I am... for what I am... |